Sorry for being all M.I.A. I've been helping my husband with his new lawn business and soaking up the beautiful weather.
The sugar thing was perfect till an hour ago. I caved. But I'm recommitted (now that there aren't peanut butter bars staring at me anymore.) My husband is so cruel sometimes. This week he got my favorite desserts from his family and just left them to stare at me. Not cool.
Haven't been to the gym in a while. Caleb has had to go work or do homework at night. I can't bring myself to get a babysitter just to go to the gym. I promise I'm finding others ways to work out. :) I at 153. I feel good. And I'm eating pretty good. I just need to kick up the miles. My half marathon is in a month.
Anyways...
One reason I needed conference is because I've had a pretty rough time with some valued relationships the last couple of months. Heavenly Father throws the same thing at me. Over and over and over. And apparently I still haven't learned my lesson. So I prayed before conference that I would be able to get an answer to some of my hearts questions.
I'm going to try to be vague so that I don't throw specific people under the bus.
A few months ago, someone I love and respect, insisted that It was selfish to have children because they didn't ask to come here. I lovingly said, "I disagree". This person was upset with my reply and told me, "there is more to life than having kids. You don't need to have anymore than two." I shared with this person that I believe that these children did infact want to come, but that was okay that we disagreed. We ended our conversation but the next few weeks resulted in emails telling me I wasn't Christian, that I had been deceived, that I was now a deceiver, oh and my favorite, that I was going to hell.
This was far from the first time I had this conversation with this person. All other times, because I was taught to put up with it, I would just laugh it off and still be around this person.
This time something inside me changed. I looked at my son and thought, I would never ask him to be around people that treated him like that. I want him to grow and be strong. I want him to surround himself with others who respect him and will support him in his decisions. I deserve that too.
I replied with these words, "you're being very rude. And I won't tolerate it."
Since then I have received, what I would call hate mail, from this person who I love and adore. I tried a few times to explain how I am not going to change, and I don't expect them to change, but I would like respect. Nothing has calmed this persons hate towards my faith.
It's funny how people think tolerance is a one way street. It is a two way street. If it is only one sided, then it is not tolerance. The "tolerance trap" that President Packer referred to in conference, I believe, is when we are tricked into thinking it can be one way.
I have a lot of "ME MONSTERS" in my family as well. You know, the ones who make decisions that negatively impact the WHOLE family and then say, "it's none of your business". Or the ones who constantly have to say things like, "are you sure you're only pregnant with one? You look like you're carrying twins." Or "you're only twenty weeks pregnant? I was that size at 40 weeks" or (talking about someone's redheaded children) "if I had any redheaded kids I wouldn't love them as much as my other kids." Or the ones who always have to put down someone else's cooking, decorating, planning, nail polish...
Yep.
See why I needed conference?
What I got from conference wasn't just what I heard with my ears, but what I heard with my spirit. Some of the things I heard were, "Turning the other cheek doesn't mean letting yourself get abused. It means not reviling against those who have wronged you. It means letting it go. Forgiving them because you deserve peace." I heard, "I love you. I forgive you for your selfish words and deeds. Forgive my sheep".
During Elder Holland and Elder Andersen's talks I heard, "You are my daughter. For that reason the enemy will always target you. Just don't forget who the enemy is and who the enemy isn't. Be kind. Be compassionate. Be courteous. Be you! And defend what you know to be true!"
From Sister Reeves talk I heard, "Focus on your family. Focus on loving them. Focus on learning from and teaching your small family. You will be blessed."
Today I realized why conference made me feel so empowered. Satan wants us to think we can't change our circumstances. He tells us That only if the other person will change, then our life will get easier. God teaches us that if only we change ourselves, that is enough. If only we behave like children of God, we will have happiness and peace.
I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has given us leader to guide us!
No comments:
Post a Comment