Fastest trip ever

      So my cute younger sister, Taylor, is a freshman at Denver University. Several weeks ago we started texting and we causally mentioned me going to see her new home and watch a game. I don't think she thought I would actually do it, but I did. :) I haven't done anything that spontaneous in a while. It felt good to just go see her and spend time with her... Its been way too long. She is an amazing soccer player and I am grateful she is such a great person. She is strong, brave, and excited for her furture- as she should be.
      I flew there Friday morning and returned Saturday morning. I missed Caleb. I felt so pathetic that I missed him. He's such a good husband. Going to Denver was good for me. I use to be so independent. I didn't depend on anyone. If I wanted to go to St. George for the weekend, i packed and went.  Caleb does so much for me. Having to figure out where to go and what to do without Caleb, was rather strange.Our good byes at the airport were so romantic-movie like that strangers probably thought I was leaving for a long time... not just 24 hours.

Anyway here's some pics. Taylor's roommates were so cute and fun. I'm excited for her. Her team was welcoming and kind. Good fast trip. She's #19 (ps I'm an amateur with the camera so please excuse the bad quality)

Yep... Good Job DU for the win. 2-1 in overtime. :D

Weekend breaks

This week has been absolutely INSANE. I am SO excited for the weekend. Today I was walking around on weber and realized that I have officially gone to school there longer than I went to Clearfield. Wow... that means I need to get a move on it and graduate!

Look at this cute picture of my husband with our nephew Kayson. Caleb looks good with a baby... hopefully one of these days we'll have our own baby. Poor Caleb. He came home one night and I said, "Guess what? I've named all of our kids!" When we were NOT dating in the fall of 2010 Caleb came to where I was living. We were dating other people at this time and we had stopped dating previously because he was a strange RM. ha ha. Anyway he said randomly,"You can name all of our kids if you marry me." I was thinking, "um did he just nonchalantly propose to me?" ha ha So I tease him that I'm going to hold him to it.

Oh and today is my sweet sister Taylor's birthday. She's 19. Wow... I remember when she was carrying around a bottle. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAY!!! She's playing college soccer and everything. She's third from the Left. :D

 

 

Remembering

I feel like my life has changed so much over the last little while. My sweet sister Charlie let me barrow her camera for our Lake Powell trip and I was super excited to find pictures from our engagement on there. I miss those days sometimes. Now we have to talk about grown up stuff and life gets so crazy with school and work.

We decided we need to get back into the habit of Friday night dates. Its so easy to just stay home and do homework, but I miss my boyfriend and I need more date time. (soon after we got married I was still accidentally calling him my boyfriend when a patient said, "he will always be your boyfriend!")

Charlie also had this adorable picture of my mom and grandma with me at my reception. I just had "Mama's song" by Carrie Underwood played for her. I love this picture. 

Grandma Bette is so darn cute. 

I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost. When I feel overwhelmed about school and family responsibilities, the Holy Ghost whispers to me that I already received my answer that I was doing what was right for me and that Heavenly Father was going to help me accomplish the thing which He asked me to do. 

A year ago when we got married, we soon got weighed down by the decision of when to have children and what to do about my schooling. If we had no plans of me finishing, then I needed to not go anymore, because its expensive! And if I was going to go, I needed to finish!

When deciding what to do, I thought back to my very first day in Rexburg. I looked out the window at the Subway I was eating at and had an undeniable feeling that I was exactly where I was suppose to be. I knew Heavenly Father wanted me to be getting my education and he was proud of me. Then, a year later, at WSU I got off work to head to my Microbiology night class. I was hungry, tired, and overwhelmed by my lack of time for studying and learning. I was living on my own in Layton. After work I was going to go home to a messy apartment, no food, no clean clothes, and a million things to do. Then I had to wake up early the next morning to do it all over again. I just wanted to cry. I then felt the Holy Ghost comfort me. He reminded me that my Heavenly Father knows all these things. Heavenly Father knows everything about microbiology and that He is my Father. Because of that, I could learn those things too. I knew that I was his literal offspring and I could be like Him in this way if I trusted Him. I cracked down and worked hard. I got three A's that semester in some VERY hard classes (including Micro). I have no doubt that Heavenly Father helped me.

A year ago Caleb and I went to the Logan temple with these decisions on our mind. We felt strongly to just trust Heavenly Father and that my education still was very important. Now, a year later, we aren't pregnant and I am still going to school and doing well. I am on track to apply to PA school next fall. Heavenly Father knew that I would not get pregnant and that I would be able to do more school. All my worrying didn't change what He knew was going to happen. I sure love Him.

Anways, like i said we went to Lake Powell with the Knights. It was fun and seems like forever ago, but here are some pictures. (I was wondering out in the water, just floating and pondering, when I found this lady bug. I thought she was dead but when I picked her up she was alive. I hung out with her for a few hours. ha ha... Obviously I am easily amused, but seriously, it was SO interesting. )

We're in the middle now!

Yeah, I've been really bad. I would like to make more time for blogging. Its so fun to read back on things. I've realized how fast I forget things that have happened. 

Well life is good. We've been so so blessed. We have a pretty sweet garden (thanks to Caleb's master  gardener skills and his cute grandparents). He is seriously a dream boy. He works so hard in school and is getting all A's. He cooks when I need him to (and sometimes just because). He makes sure our garden is getting everything it needs to be a success. He even sews my clothes that rip! ha ha. I know you're thinking, "So Paige, what do you do!?" ha ha. We're sort of in an awkward time right now. Caleb is no longer working at SDL so I'm working full time and enjoying a short break from school while Caleb is going to school and trying to find a job. He is going into physical therapy for any of you who didn't know. His original plan was engineering, but that changed last year. He never really loved it and seemed to feel that he found his niche when  he discovered his interest in medical stuff. I just want him to LOVE his job and be excited about it. He never was that way about engineering.

Lately the theme to my life has shifted a little. I feel so blessed for everything that I have, but there is so much that I want and look forward to. All the sudden when I got married people say to me when I am adoring a child, "you're baby hungry huh?" Um... Yes, but not because I'm married. I've been this crazy about kids since I was one! ha ha. I know I need to slow down and enjoy this journey, but I'm so excited to be a mom!  Caleb and I read a talk the other night,  Always in the middle by President Uchtdorf. Here is the link if you'd like to go read it:   https://www.lds.org/liahona/2012/07/always-in-the-middle?lang=eng&query=middle

As we read it I realized something. I always pictured marriage as the middle of marriage; not the newly wed stage and not the empty-nesters. I pictured marriage as the part when Caleb works hard at a job he loves while I'm home with our adorable children. I pictured Caleb coming home at night with children happy and clean, dinner hot and ready, and home decorated and spotless. I pictured a lovely family meal together, scripture reading time, play time, then putting the children to bed together. This was my happily ever after. Heavenly Father knows I have much to learn.

First of all, the bearing and raising children stage is usually less than half of our lives. I am learning to be happy in every stage of my life. Secondly, even when I am in that ideal stage of being in the middle of marriage - things will NOT be perfect (and may I add nor were they intended to be!) 

This talk was so good because I need to see myself always in the middle. I'm not too inexperienced at marriage to know how to strengthen it. Caleb and I can be setting family traditions with or without children. I can be the best mom now. I don't have to have children in my home to be a mom. Also, I can be the best wife now.Thank goodness for the gospel! 

On another note: I never pictured myself actually going and finishing college. I just have kept at it and listened to the Holy Ghost for guidance. Right now I am set to graduate from Weber State next year and my plan is to go to PA school after that ( which is two years). Caleb and I both feel it is important for me to finish my education. I know many women inside and out of my family who had to work 40+ hours a week to provide for their children. If anything every happened to Caleb, I need to be prepared. I think its much harder for children to have to raise each other because mom is working to put food on the table than for a women to just finish her education so that she's not begging for low paying jobs. I watched my  mom quit school when I was young so she could finish raising us. When she was left a single mom less than 10 years later she had to work hard physical labor to provide. She is a good women and I'm so grateful for her sacrifice. Too many women are left in this situation and too often the children suffer the most.

 I know that as we trust Heavenly Father, things will work out.

Today

Today has been a pretty emotional day for me. In fact its been an emotional week.
For quite some time now I have been wondering what to make of all the trials that are thrown at me.

I'm learning... still learning. I'm trying to figure out what Heavenly Father wants me to do and become.

Today is a day to recover. Today is a day to cry, laugh, read things that inspire, ponder, think, not think, dream, enjoy warm tomato juice, elbow macaroni, with freshly grated cheddar cheese.

Caleb is at work today and we got all of our weekend chores done yesterday, so I don't feel too bad.

I love going through people's quotes on pinterest when I need some pick-me-ups.  I found this quote and it describes perfectly how I feel about my trials and Caleb's love. 

 

This boy knows just what to say to calm me down and help me when I feel like I've been emotionally punched in the stomach. 

The last few years have given me a deeper understanding of how our Savior and Heavenly Father feel when we openly rebel and turn from them. When I see those I love choose paths that are harmful to their sweet spirits, my heart aches. I'm reminded of Mosiah and Alma as they, and their dear companions, mourned and earnestly prayed that their sons would repent and change. (Mosiah 27:14)

I don't know if I am one of little faith or what, but I don't see a Heavenly messenger appearing to my loved ones any time soon. 

I am consistently caught between staying sane and helping and reaching out to them. Finding this balance is more difficult than I could have ever imagined.

This morning as a spoke with Caleb he reminded me, "everything is going to be okay."

While sitting in my room alone I thought, "Is it really? How does he know that?"

Then the thought came that I know he is right and I know it because God keeps his promises. 

What promises? 

Doctrine and Covenants 14:7 "And if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God."

3 Nephi 12:3 "Yea, blessed are the poor in spirit who come unto me, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

I found these promised by just randomly opening the scriptures. I would challenge you to find MANY many more

Whenever I feel the way I do today and I just need to be reminded of the Love of God I turn to my FAVORITE chapter of scripture.

3 Nephi 17. In this scripture Christ is visiting the Americas following his death and resurrection. I cannot read these verses without feeling overcome with gratitude for His love. 

 7 Have ye any that are sick among you? Bring them hither. Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner? Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy.

 8 For I perceive that ye desire that I should show unto you what I have done unto your brethren at Jerusalem, for I see that your faith is sufficient that I should heal you.

 9 And it came to pass that when he had thus spoken, all the multitude, with one accord, did go forth with their sick and their afflicted, and their lame, and with their blind, and with their dumb, and with all them that were afflicted in any manner; and he did heal them every one as they were brought forth unto him.

 10 And they did all, both they who had been healed and they who were whole, bow down at his feet, and did worship him; and as many as could come for the multitude did kiss his feet, insomuch that they did bathe his feet with their tears.

 11 And it came to pass that he commanded that their little children should be brought.

 12 So they brought their little children and set them down upon the ground round about him, and Jesus stood in the midst; and the multitude gave way till they had all been brought unto him.

 13 And it came to pass that when they had all been brought, and Jesus stood in the midst, he commanded the multitude that they should kneel down upon the ground.

 14 And it came to pass that when they had knelt upon the ground, Jesus groaned within himself, and said: Father, I am troubled because of the wickedness of the people of the house of Israel.

Verse 14 is how I am feeling today. I feel like I've been knocked over again, but I am so grateful that Christ understands my pain. He loves me and wants me to be happy.

I am so so happy. My life is so good because of the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. He is the reason I can change. The reason I can rejoice. The reason my life is full of peace and direction. 

Today I am going to take some time to get through this. From the words of a beloved apostle "Therefore, it is good advice to slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials when experiencing adverse conditions." (from President Uchtdorf's talk Of Things That Matter Most http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/of-things-that-matter-most?lang=eng&query=slow+down)

"Scriptures that are falling apart usually belong to someone who isn't"