I just LOVE Heavenly Father. I have needed his matchless love and comfort the last little while. My Savior is my Redeemer. He is my strength. He is the reason I can be happy, the reason I have hope, and the reason I keep going every day. I am SO grateful for the Holy Ghost. This morning I was driving to work, thinking about all that has been weighing on me lately. To think that a member of the Godhead is with me AT ALL TIMES, if I live worthy of its presence, is the coolest promise that we have. That thought brought peace to my soul and made me NEVER want to offend the spirit again.
I have this thing, that sometimes I'm not sure is a blessing, but my mother and grandmother's swear I was born with it. I can feel. I know you're thinking, "Yeah... me to. what's the big deal?" I really feel. I feel so deeply I wonder if I can feel the way others feel. When someone has a trial in their life, I feel for them. I cry. I pray. I plead with God for them. I ponder. I discuss. I want to take away their pain. It's difficult for me to explain, but when I heard that mourning is a spiritual gift, I knew that is what I had. Some asked, "that is a gift? Sounds like a curse!" I agree, sometimes it feels like a curse. Nonetheless, I am who I am, I have what I have, and I can only do what I can do. Lately I've watched from a distance as those who I love are struggling with difficult trials. My heart is heavy for them. I love them. I find comfort knowing that God will make all things right. I have grown to be grateful for this gift that I have.
“For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God...To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby” (D&C 46:11-12) I know that this gift humbles me. It brings me closer to my Father. I also know that our gifts are not just for our profit. They benefit those around us as we share them.
A weakness I have that may or may not be associated with this gift is that I can discern the feelings of others. Now, the weakness in that is when I know they don't like something, I have the choice to change it or to be true to who I am.
I thought that being tempted to feel inferior, or ashamed, was a problem for teenage girls. Well I'm (ALMOST... one more month) 22 and apparently it hasn't gone away. I am me. Brave. Bold. Mormon. Not Perfect. I have experienced many hard things for my young age and I'm not going to let those experiences be wasted.
I will embrace me. This does not mean that to love myself I have to hate others. In fact this is quite the opposite. It will be much easier to love myself and others AT THE SAME TIME. Putting someone down never made anyone stand taller.
